Shame on Me!

If anyone has ever managed a group of people, be it professionally or recreationally (is that even a word?), you know that there is always an added level of pressure (usually self-imposed) on you. This is one of the most unattractive truths to “being in charge.” I’m sure that the 4 or 5 of you who have been reading my random rants on the softball season so far have quickly figured out that I tend to take my role as team coach/manager way too seriously from time to time. Actually, I do that a lot in life in general. I know how I would act or react in a certain situation, and I expect those around me to share those reactions. So when they don’t, I tend to become, well, less than objective in how I see things. It is a personality trait that I am trying to change, and I can usually look back and see things in a different light after some time has passed. That timeframe may be a day or a week, or a month, but I do eventually see things for how they really are.

The one thing that I’ve learned over this season is that I’m a terrible coach. And I say this in all sincerity. I’m not the world’s best encourager when it comes to coaching a team. When mistakes are made, I want to fix the problem. I don’t stop to consider the effort that was made. I’m a technician of the game. I focus on the details and become incapable of seeing the big picture when it’s happening. I have spent a lot of time focusing on our errors or our inability to hit, that I’ve missed a lot of good things that have been happening.

Tuesday night was a prime example. We lost both games, which was deflating after last week’s huge wins. I couldn’t get past that. Shame on me for that, because it kept me from enjoying watching Brian pitch his best game of the season, or watching Dan have his best defensive game of the year in the outfield. The infield made some great catches on a few hot liners, and turned a few double plays, which are rare in softball. It kept me from noticing some of our guys stretching singles into doubles, or taking the extra base on a lazy throw from the other team.

I think the reason the miscues frustrate me so much is because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the guys on our team are capable of great things. I guess I tend to forget that they’re coming out to have some fun, to get away from the house for a while and hang out with the guys. I tend to forget that the goal is not for them to live up to my expectations, or my desires, but to live up to their own expectations of themselves. And the truth is I’m not giving them the chance to do that. Again, shame on me.

The guys on the Immanuel Church Softball Team are among the best in this league, and they are definitely the best group of guys I’ve had the pleasure of playing with. I don’t say that nearly enough. So lest you read my musings and feel that these guys are just your run-of-the-mill, over-the-hill wannabe softball players, you have not met the real Immanuel Church Softball Team. I’m just now realizing that I haven’t allowed myself to meet them either.

I just hope it’s not too late to have a meet-and-greet.